i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
