Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
