There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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