What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
