i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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