sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize