I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
