Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
