You really coming over, don't trick.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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