She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
