That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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