I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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