I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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