i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize