weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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