It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize