Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
