My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
