Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
