are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
