let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
