I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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