This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
