So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
