Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
