I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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