Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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