I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just invented taco cereal.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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