kristin has been a bad kristin
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
