I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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