His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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