Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Actions speak louder than pants.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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