First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
