then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize