Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
