i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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