My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm sobbing to NWA
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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