David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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