So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
