I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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