dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
