Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
