If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
