Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Congratulations! We have a period
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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