I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
