I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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