If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
