I'm drive I can fine osifer
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
