How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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