Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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