I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
