I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
