U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Randomize
