I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
