Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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