It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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