THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
