420 ftw
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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