I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
They have beer where we have blood.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
