Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize