nut hugger
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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