i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
