awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
