Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
