Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
