I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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