The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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