I've blown a few things in my day
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
