New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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